Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mr. Wonderful

They say there is someone for everyone and I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Not sure what has brought it to the forefront other than the fact that I have no life. My normal day consists of getting up way too early, driving literally across town to my job, finding creative ways to keep smart people from doing or saying things they will regret, driving back across town to my little home, entertaining my grandson for a few hours a couple of nights per week, attempting to have a meaningful conversation with whichever daughter may be in the vicinity, finding cereal and milk that isn't spoiled, enjoying a glass of inexpensive (read cheap) wine, then finding my way under the covers. Granted I don't follow this same path every night, but I do follow it frequently. Which leads me to the question, would I have time for Mr. Wonderful if I did meet him?

Who is my "Mr. Wonderful"? I have no idea, but here are some examples of who he is not. In the past year I've had the opportunity to date four men. Contestant #1 was a successful business man. Good looking, one year my junior, kids, an ex-wife (who appeared to be content as an ex) and a drinker. Now mind you, it's not my place to say he drank too much and I did match him drink for drink on our first date. But given the fact that he passed out on our 3rd date, I hollered "next".

Contestant #2 was Santa. No, really, he was a professional Santa as well as a massage therapist, electrician and Harley dude. I'm a fan of Harley dudes but was taken back by the fact that he only talked about his work. He had kids, which I rarely heard about, two ex-wives that I didn't want to hear about and a need to get married sooner rather than later. Next!

Contestant # 3 was a Cajun. It was my first experience with the accent, which was challenging but fun. However he was a never married, kid-less guy living in a bachelor pad at the age of 47. Plus are flip-flops ALWAYS appropriate? I'm thinking not so much. Next!

Contestant # 4 doesn't really count because it was only one date. I liked him. He said I smelled like coconut. I guess he yelled "next".

So who is my Mr. Wonderful? I suspect I've met pieces of him time and again. He's taller than me, has a wonderful sense of humor and is tolerant of mine. He isn't married. He doesn't care if I drink wine and he can hold his liquor. He no longer finds it necessary to smoke pot. He believes in God, encourages prayer, has a car that works, and he works as well. If he doesn't have kids, he's okay with the fact that I do and supports my strong sense of family. He doesn't let his dog sleep on my bed and he picks up his underwear because I won't. He finds the fact that I'm nutty part of my charm. He allows me to cry when I watch Steel Magnolia's without making fun of me. He understands stretch marks, ta-ta's that aren't what they used to be and the fact that sometimes I wait too long before I color my hair. He enjoys music, allows me to sing in the car and respects the fact that when I have a song stuck in my head, I sing it out loud until it's stuck in someone else's head.

Have you seen him? Do you know him? I'm currently accepting applications.

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